How to Find Happiness

The number one question that has been on my mind for the last few years is how to find happiness after abuse? I understand that many of you have asked this question a thousand times. For myself it was a question I avoided on the regular. Could it be possible to ever be happy again after being through something that didn’t only change your life but changed how you saw people? How you thought about people. How you would trust again. This is where life sorts of stops for me.

The other day a good friend of mine asked me if I was happy. I immediately said yes. Without thinking, I said yes. And when I realized that I meant it, I was in shock. I mean, I have everything I need. God has blessed me beyond anything I thought I deserved. But I was still in shock by this revelation because I had been faking happiness for years. Both during my relationship and after the relationship. And somehow I had gotten so good at faking it that even I couldn’t tell. Or at least I didn’t want to see the truth. Confession time, I’ve been existing instead of living my life. I haven’t been out on a date in years. Well, until now. And surprisingly I haven’t found a reason to run yet. Believe me, I tried. He knows me well enough not to push me too fast and I thank him for that. My biggest fear is to let my guard down. I know what will happen if I do. At least I think I know what will happen.

For those of you that have managed to move on with their lives, how did you find happiness? I know my quote of ‘There is life after abuse’ shows that I’ve found my happiness. But to be honest, I am only now learning about true happiness. And along with that happiness, I have a million questions. Have I only found happiness because there’s someone in my life? What about being happy and loving myself? How can I get back to that? How can I stop expecting the worse from everything and everyone? How…?

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

What is Sexual Assault?

Don’t worry this isn’t going to be some long, drawn out article about the definition of sexual assault. We know what sexual assault involves; contact or behavior that happens without consent of the victim. Over the years, the seriousness of sexual assault has changed. At least over the course of the years I’ve known about sexual assault. It seemed that in the 80’s, sexual assault wasn’t taken serious. I remember movies that damn near promoted this type of behavior. Movies like Nerds and Grease made sexual assault seem the norm. From improper touching, looking up dresses, creating peep holes in the girl’s shower room, these are just a few of the things deemed innocent play.

Not anymore. Men and women are no longer keeping silent about sexual assault. As you’ve seen in the news, victims are revealing the names of their attackers. Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, and Donald Trump, are just a few of the names in a long list of attackers. Each man has over twenty accusers each. These men used the power they held to hurt anyone that crossed their paths. This type of behavior, as we all know, happens everywhere.

According to the NSVRC (National Sexual Violence Resource Center) 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men are likely to experience some type of sexual violence. And over 60% of assaults go unreported. To think that not half of these crimes are brought out is horrible. The victims feel shame and have doubts about their roles in the incident. As a victim myself, I’ve had my own doubts. For a long time, I asked myself if I did something to make my attacker think that I wanted him. What action did he misread? I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s asked themselves these questions. I’m also sure no one has come up with an answer.

Over the last few months, we’ve heard story after story about assaults and none of the attackers were held accountable. That is until now. Now, victims are standing together and saying, “NO MORE”. NO MORE to shame; NO MORE to pain; and NO MORE to silence!

~Be Blessed~

Photo by Louis Blythe on Unsplash

Review: The Last Tudor

4 Stars!!

As always Philippa Gregory has not let me down. The Last Tudor follows the life of Jane Grey and her sisters. As we all know Jane was only queen for nine days before Mary Tudor fought for the throne and won. However, the story does not end there. In parts two and three we follow the lives of her sisters Katherine and Mary. But will these sisters follow Jane’s footsteps to the scaffold? Let me know your thoughts on The Last Tudor.

Murdered By My Boyfriend

This week I had another article in mind to close out this month’s discussion on teen dating violence. However, while researching information for the article I came across a YouTube video that made me change today’s topic. The documentary is based on a true story and is almost an hour long. I can only come up with one flaw for this documentary. It has a narrator. In my opinion, it doesn’t need the narrator. In fact, she’s a bit irritating. But if you can ignore that, the documentary, though hard to watch, is a must see. As always please feel free to leave your comments!

~Be Blessed~