Tonight, Grey’s Anatomy played out one of my biggest fears. If you don’t watch the show, you should. The season premiere portrayed a part of my life that I fear every day. I’m sure you already know, but Jo Wilson’s abusive husband has found her. Jo finally found the courage to send him divorce papers and instead of signing them and sending them back, he showed up at Seattle Grace. With a new fiancé. Needless to say, Jo is in shock and fear. She does everything to keep it together, but eventually loses it and blows up at the chief when he rains accolades on the great Dr. Paul Stadler.
The reason this episode hit so close to home for me is because I live with this fear daily. I work across from the prison where my abuser is being held. On a daily basis I fear that he will walk into my office. I know you’re wondering how that would occur, so let me explain. In our building there are inmates that help the cleaning and maintenance staff. When I realized that my ex was being held in the prison across the street from my job I knew there was just a matter of time before he would show up. Now I can’t do anything about his or my location but my anxiety about him hangs over my head every day. I’m sure some of you may think that I’m overreacting, but he still writes me and tells me that he’ll never let me go. I think I have a right to overreact. I take my safety extremely serious. As a person who’s been stalked and even to some small extent I still am. I have to be careful.
Tonight’s show brought out emotions that I wasn’t ready to face. It was too real and too painful. I’d somehow made myself believe that I was no longer afraid of him, that I’d moved on. I still believe that I am not afraid of him and I have definitely moved on. I’m just extremely careful, right?
P.S. I love Grey’s Anatomy!!